I have served as a bridesmaid and maid of honor on a few occasions. Each experience has a load of stories behind it it. I enjoyed each and everyone one of them. Lately my admiration for the traditional wedding continues to fade at a rapid pace. The list of what "they" say you should do. Who are "they"? Are "they" paying for weddings these days. I am so done with brides saying I want to do it like this or heck not even thinking about what she and her groom wants but what "they" said. Keisha is saying I am doing what I want to do. Don't get me wrong I love the fairy tale princess bride thing and I have seen done smoothly. I just am so past it at my ripe old age. LOVE is enough for me. My mate, me , chillins (children LOL) , somewhere romantic peaceful a committment. I just cant take to much stress and no focus on the meaning of marriage.
Dream on princess brides.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Addictions
I have suffered very few addictions in my life. Years ago I was addicted to chocolate I seriously craved it. I would open chocolate icing and eat it. I was not glutenous and did not devour the container but this fact only adds to my argument. My satisfaction would be reached almost at the smell of the chocolate but I needed only about one or two spoons. Mother would be livid. I soon grew out of that. Later addictions included shoes, sales racks in all departments of the store including the men's section without a man to shop for etc.. The last two days I have become addicted to both quizzes on Facebook and the game on Sorority life. I need help.
Blogging
I spend my days marveling about things I am definitely going to blog about. I actually write random notes on random things. Like a napkin while driving down the rode. I even purchased a small notebook for my purse. The purse changed and the notebook stayed, no pertinent info in the purse or notebook. It saddens me thinking of all the ideas that never made it to the surface. My tears gather at the corners of my eyes because class is over and no one will be forced to "follow me". Hopefully, the summer will be filled with fun, relaxation, and "adult content".
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Time
Can someone please tell me how to change the time on this thing. I am reading my recently posted blogs and the time is not correct. I never noticed this until Andrea mentioned something aobut me posting during class time last week. I actually was very excited to finish posting at work. I now see the time is not accurate. Help, Please and thanks.
Hair
My son Kaleb does not want a haircut. Kaleb will tell anyone who will listen him especially when he is upset about getting his hair washed or braided. He know wants to wear it in an afro but does not want it cut. He argues , "Mom you just don't want me to go to school with an afro".
This is far from the truth because I once wore an afro. I went so far as to lead a protest in support of his hair by wearing my fro to a meeting at his old school. My problem is his fear of the haircut. I want it trimmed and lined up. After we finished at the braider's he said "Karen next time I am going to the barbershop, I am going to let them cut only a little bit. You can braid it again this summer after I see how I like it." I was astounded this is the child who hates CHANGE . I feel I want to go to a a beauty salon opposed to Devyn's barber. My favorite Target associate has hair like Kaleb's I love the curl pattern. He told me his is actually cut in layers to keep his curl and he uses a leave in conditioner. I got his stylist's card. I can't wait. I am wondering if this kid is really ready to go through with this.
Sleepless in the HIlls.
I am battling insomnia once again. It could be considered a good thing if I could get something accomplished. I am up but my brain does not want to retain information therefore my insomnia is unnerving.
I have spent a lot of time researching places I would like to settle and schools public and private student teacher ratio.
My nights have also landed me a new job as a job scout. I spend my nights forwarding jobs to my laid off friends and associates. The horrible thing is I have cheated all week on my not eating after 6p.m. I am not really fretting over this. I indulged in an Edy's strawberry fruit bar at about 1:00 am the night I stayed up to 3:00 a.m. Last night I went to bed early at about 12:45 a.m. but that was after reading a short story my friend is working on. It was to adult for me and somehow going to sleep help get the images out of my head. I considered posting it so I could finally have some adult content.
I have spent a lot of time researching places I would like to settle and schools public and private student teacher ratio.
My nights have also landed me a new job as a job scout. I spend my nights forwarding jobs to my laid off friends and associates. The horrible thing is I have cheated all week on my not eating after 6p.m. I am not really fretting over this. I indulged in an Edy's strawberry fruit bar at about 1:00 am the night I stayed up to 3:00 a.m. Last night I went to bed early at about 12:45 a.m. but that was after reading a short story my friend is working on. It was to adult for me and somehow going to sleep help get the images out of my head. I considered posting it so I could finally have some adult content.
Monday, April 20, 2009
It's Raining
I really wish I were at home asleep.
The rain seems to suck out all of my energy sometimes.
Today is one of those days.
Rain actually seems to make me think. Thinking is ususally a good thing.
I am thinking of how I forgot to put a napkin in Devyn's lunchbox.
I am thinking of Jenika's Bridal shower invitations. I forgot to put who the darn shower is for. How do I correct this without buying new invitations? They cost to much.
I am thinking about warming my soup right now because my tummy is growling.
I am thinking if I should take that summer class since m mind is fried already.
I am hoping there is absolutely nothing for me to do at work so I can work on my resume. I am thinking that the worms were gross as I walked in to the building. I am thinking the bottom of my jeans are wet because they are to long even with heels on.
What are you thinking?
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Yes we have arrived back at this topic. I have found myself chit chatting on facebook with a faceless friend. Which I have no time to do at all. Last night we volleyed back and forth on a collaboration that we have yet title but it was the coolest thing. I am certain I could not do it verbally but we kind of wrote a poem together and then started another. Unfortunately for you voyeurs their was no adult content. the subject matter was one of inspiration. I felt exuberant afterwards. Now I am wishing I gave in to my need for coffee. Another thing I have given up...
Hopefully it will help my Hawaiin vacation. oops I fell into character. (wink)
Hopefully it will help my Hawaiin vacation. oops I fell into character. (wink)
Publish Post
TUNA
This one is for you. Last week I had a ball at the Anchor. I just can't stop talking about my $3.50 Amaretto Sour. I plan on going back there some warm summer evening. I forgot I was suppose to refrain fro liquor until June 21, 2009. I don't remember agreeing to this completely I just kind of said "OK". I have been laying off the spirits and my tip jar at home is suffering. Now on to TUNA. I ordered tuna too at the Anchor. Jennie and I thought we would convince them to give us the Tuna Melt we wanted. They didn't. I made up for this on Saturday at the Aut' Bar with "Blair and the Boyfriends". I had the best tuna melt ever. The bread was so flavorful. Jennie I must say our tuna was definitely cat food compared to this. I truly deserved it after being lost in Ann Arbor, getting into an argument with my sister (well hell I just looked on while she fussed9, and a dead car battery (I left the trunk open overnight).
Popcorn
I do not wan to see another popcorn kernel this year. Last week I went to see DragonBalls the movie and feasted on movie popcorn the first time this year. I was so excited. I didn't think about Kaleb's experiment on microwave popcorn. We popped 5 bags of popcorn one after another. I probably tasted the first three bags and I am convinced now that Orvilee Redenbacher is the best popcorn if you have to choose. It also is the 2nd best for your buck. $2.99 per box with onl 32 unpopped kernels. I thought I cleaned up the popcorn but somehow this mornign I kept running in to it.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Oops I did it again.
I vowed to never got to Chuck E Cheese again. Thursday University Prep Academy had a Chuck E. Cheese fundraiser night. I was forced to attend. The experience was 100 times better than Devyn's birthday fiasco. The night went pretty smooth until I began playing Ski-ball.
A cute little blond attempted to steal my tickets. Kids might think grown-ups have no need for tickets. My kids are the first to get my tickets they send me to play Ski-ball and expect me to hit the jackpot. I was pretty calm and asking for my tickets back. I said ,"Oh, I'm sorry I think those are mine." She sweetly responded "Oh, I didn't know you needed them, I'm Sorry". The situation was resolved peacefully and calmly. Kaleb, Kita, George and Devyn and I walked out with a ton of toys that would break before nightfall.
ADULT CONTENT
I know you have been sitting on the edges of your seats waiting for the adult content. I have been waiting for the appropriate time to share with you my intimate thoughts and ideas .
Dragon ball the movie comes out tomorrow. My son would like to see it but is questioning the rating. Recently one of my godchildren were reading a graphic novel and I discovered inappropriate material. I banned them for several years. Kaleb is convinced the movie will have the same content. I keep telling him I am pretty sure the rating guys and gals know their stuff. We will attend the movie together. The current rating is PG. Kaleb is concerned the rating might be R or even XXX. My brother then asked him what XXX is. Kaleb responded by saying " I don't know but if R is Adult Content then I guess that in XXX movies all they do it curse and act inappropriately."
Monday, March 30, 2009
DInner
Yesterday I made a plan. I fixed lasagna with the intentions to warm it up today for Kaleb and Devyn.
I often make just enough when I cook. I also have been sticking to eating dinner by 6p.m.
At about 6:30 p.m. Kaleb said "Mom I think you forgot to cook us dinner". I though this was hilarious I began to warm up dinner. Devyn then said "Oh, no mom you cooked that last night". I had to expalin how they were going to ear it again. In the future I wil put a day in between my leftovers.
I often make just enough when I cook. I also have been sticking to eating dinner by 6p.m.
At about 6:30 p.m. Kaleb said "Mom I think you forgot to cook us dinner". I though this was hilarious I began to warm up dinner. Devyn then said "Oh, no mom you cooked that last night". I had to expalin how they were going to ear it again. In the future I wil put a day in between my leftovers.
Breach of Confidentiality
I have been on quite a roller coaster ride since last Wednesday.
I found myself at the doctor's office Friday due to an out of control migraine.
When I left I realized that I need to find a new doctor. During my visit the medical assistant came in twice. I refused to discuss anything while she was in the room.
She entered one more time when I was on my way out and asked the doctor very loudly "Did you just write Tasha Smith a prescription for the morning after pill?" (Note I just added a name this is not what was actually said)
I was so upset about the patient's privacy. I told the young lady that this was unacceptable and very unprofessional. She just looked dumbfounded and hocked that I even commented. Man may argue that it is not my business but it could have been my medical information or one of my friends or family members.
I found myself at the doctor's office Friday due to an out of control migraine.
When I left I realized that I need to find a new doctor. During my visit the medical assistant came in twice. I refused to discuss anything while she was in the room.
She entered one more time when I was on my way out and asked the doctor very loudly "Did you just write Tasha Smith a prescription for the morning after pill?" (Note I just added a name this is not what was actually said)
I was so upset about the patient's privacy. I told the young lady that this was unacceptable and very unprofessional. She just looked dumbfounded and hocked that I even commented. Man may argue that it is not my business but it could have been my medical information or one of my friends or family members.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
I need a lifeline
My body is truly beginning to shut down. There is not enough time in the day to accomplish all the feats I have before me. I m starting to get ill and I believe it is a result of my mental stress. I have had the same headache for days. There is no time for sleep. I ecided to go to sleep the other night after unsuccessfully working on homework for hours about 3 a.m. and I overslept. I am no spring chicken and all my friends say that it is my sleep deficency catching up. Is the semester over yet? No offense to any professors reading this blog, "wink" , "wink" but I am burned out.
My viewing pleasures
What am I watching?
I often ask myself this question. I watch a lot of PBS. One of my shoes of choice is the Super Why! And the Super Readers. It is a show where there I something wrong with a story and the change it with the help of us viewers. Kaleb and I find a lot of comedy in it. Devyn loves it especially identifying letters that are in his name.
The Simpson’s is one of my all time favorite shows. I don’t watch it faithfully but I realized that I watch it a few times a week and if I am not always in contact with the picture I am listening. Homer is considered an imbecile but I think it is so cool all of the things he has done. I thought it was so sweet on yesterday’s episode that Homer paid for Marge’s college education. HE is goofy as can be but he loves Marge. I didn’t really care for the Simpson’s movie. When I was younger I identified with Lisa a lot more and her saxophone playing was so cool to me. I played for a few years too.
Malcolm in the Middle is another show that I watch. The mother on the show cracks me up. I think sometimes I just like to see a little dysfunction because there is some in real life anyway.
House is also a show I watch when can. I think he is a great actor and I like how the show explains everything to you. It makes me feel like I could get a few questions right in some kind of medical or science course. House pushed the envelope. It is a show that I also plan on committing an entire season. The last show was very interesting and I keep forgetting to follow up on the condition they discovered to be the culprit of a father and daughter duos illness which was the “inability to be happy” supposedly founding Middle Easter people specifically.
Against my will, I sometimes watch Ni Hao, Ka-Lan. (Ni Hao means Hello) It is a show about a Chinese girl. She is the Chinese version of Dora. There is a Koala bear character that is crazy to me. He loves Panda bears and he even owns two pair of the same “panda” house shoes. I think the bear on the show should have been a Kola since they are native to that area. I have an idea for a show that would compete with this one and Dora. I just want talk about it via the Internet.
I often ask myself this question. I watch a lot of PBS. One of my shoes of choice is the Super Why! And the Super Readers. It is a show where there I something wrong with a story and the change it with the help of us viewers. Kaleb and I find a lot of comedy in it. Devyn loves it especially identifying letters that are in his name.
The Simpson’s is one of my all time favorite shows. I don’t watch it faithfully but I realized that I watch it a few times a week and if I am not always in contact with the picture I am listening. Homer is considered an imbecile but I think it is so cool all of the things he has done. I thought it was so sweet on yesterday’s episode that Homer paid for Marge’s college education. HE is goofy as can be but he loves Marge. I didn’t really care for the Simpson’s movie. When I was younger I identified with Lisa a lot more and her saxophone playing was so cool to me. I played for a few years too.
Malcolm in the Middle is another show that I watch. The mother on the show cracks me up. I think sometimes I just like to see a little dysfunction because there is some in real life anyway.
House is also a show I watch when can. I think he is a great actor and I like how the show explains everything to you. It makes me feel like I could get a few questions right in some kind of medical or science course. House pushed the envelope. It is a show that I also plan on committing an entire season. The last show was very interesting and I keep forgetting to follow up on the condition they discovered to be the culprit of a father and daughter duos illness which was the “inability to be happy” supposedly founding Middle Easter people specifically.
Against my will, I sometimes watch Ni Hao, Ka-Lan. (Ni Hao means Hello) It is a show about a Chinese girl. She is the Chinese version of Dora. There is a Koala bear character that is crazy to me. He loves Panda bears and he even owns two pair of the same “panda” house shoes. I think the bear on the show should have been a Kola since they are native to that area. I have an idea for a show that would compete with this one and Dora. I just want talk about it via the Internet.
Self Expression
Self Expression
I often think about how often I get things and start before reading the user’s manual. These instructions are collecting in a box in y kitchen closet for future use. My sons somehow didn’t come with a manual. There are tons of parenting books, websites, forums, conferences but not one single blueprint for each and every child. Individuality is a very important and sometimes I wonder how much self-expression to give. Many of my friends argue that children should not have choices. Choices sometimes overwhelm me at the drive-thru window but I think they should have a few choices. ☺
My youngest son Devyn is currently wearing a Mohawk. I think it’s cute. HE said he wanted his hair like sonic and was the closest we could come up with due to his length of hair. Recently, I was told that it was obvious that “a father was not in the home because no father what tolerate such things”. I found this to be absurd because every person does not share the same views. My oldest son, Kaleb wears braids per his request. He had braids then asked for a haircut and that is what we did, he then decided he wanted braids again and does not want a haircut.
Today was picture day and I wanted him to wear a suit. The suit involved a pink dress shirt and pink and grey tie. He protested that pink shirts were for girls and he actually had a fit. His aunt donate him the shirt and tie, I picked up the pants and jacket for a whooping $8 plus tax in the off-season at target last summer. We opted for a sweater vest, some slacks and a button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He will definitely take a picture in the suit because it was so cute. I’m thinking of hitting up a cheap picture special at Wal=Mart. I just didn’t feel like forcing him since he was self -conscious of it and at his age boys and girls define there world by primary colors for boys and PINK for girls. Kaleb’s laughing didn’t help either however Kaleb said his laughter was because Devyn resembled a mini grown-up and he looked really COOL. How much is too much self-expression?
I often think about how often I get things and start before reading the user’s manual. These instructions are collecting in a box in y kitchen closet for future use. My sons somehow didn’t come with a manual. There are tons of parenting books, websites, forums, conferences but not one single blueprint for each and every child. Individuality is a very important and sometimes I wonder how much self-expression to give. Many of my friends argue that children should not have choices. Choices sometimes overwhelm me at the drive-thru window but I think they should have a few choices. ☺
My youngest son Devyn is currently wearing a Mohawk. I think it’s cute. HE said he wanted his hair like sonic and was the closest we could come up with due to his length of hair. Recently, I was told that it was obvious that “a father was not in the home because no father what tolerate such things”. I found this to be absurd because every person does not share the same views. My oldest son, Kaleb wears braids per his request. He had braids then asked for a haircut and that is what we did, he then decided he wanted braids again and does not want a haircut.
Today was picture day and I wanted him to wear a suit. The suit involved a pink dress shirt and pink and grey tie. He protested that pink shirts were for girls and he actually had a fit. His aunt donate him the shirt and tie, I picked up the pants and jacket for a whooping $8 plus tax in the off-season at target last summer. We opted for a sweater vest, some slacks and a button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He will definitely take a picture in the suit because it was so cute. I’m thinking of hitting up a cheap picture special at Wal=Mart. I just didn’t feel like forcing him since he was self -conscious of it and at his age boys and girls define there world by primary colors for boys and PINK for girls. Kaleb’s laughing didn’t help either however Kaleb said his laughter was because Devyn resembled a mini grown-up and he looked really COOL. How much is too much self-expression?
Sunday, March 15, 2009
American House
Kaleb performed a play for the senior at the American House Saturday. He was so excited prior to our arrival. When we pulled in the lot he said he didn't think he was ready. He was kind of creeped out by the seniors. I reassured him that everything would be OK.
I could tell he was a little nervous but he was the best goat I have ever seen gnawing on construction paper grass. I too was a little startled by a cough that sounded like a cat choking on a bone followed by by a hairball and then amplified by 100. There was one grouchy old guy who didn't want an of the seniors to watch the play.
The play still was a success and the kids feasted on cookies and juice provided by the American House. Kaleb said he was very nervous performing there.
I wonder if he associates old people with death?
I could tell he was a little nervous but he was the best goat I have ever seen gnawing on construction paper grass. I too was a little startled by a cough that sounded like a cat choking on a bone followed by by a hairball and then amplified by 100. There was one grouchy old guy who didn't want an of the seniors to watch the play.
The play still was a success and the kids feasted on cookies and juice provided by the American House. Kaleb said he was very nervous performing there.
I wonder if he associates old people with death?
It's Over
It's 12 a.m. and I can not let go of the break. I had big plans and actually accomplished some of them. I began fasting as well during the break. I planned on going until this Thursday however I ran in to some complications. Friday night I didn't sleep well and woke up to pains in my belly. My entire body was going through a thing. Saturday I stopped by the natural Food Patch and picked up some liquid calcium. My body has been deficeint in Vitamin D and calcium lately and should have stored up on my vitamins and minerals prior to beginning this fast.. This morning I slept later than usual and I was EXHAUSTED. I kept feeling a weird tingling sensation in my arms and it somehow moved down to my legs. I blacked out for about 10seconds and found myself face down on the living room floor and Kaleb screaming my name. This was the most pitiful thing in the world. Can I do anything right? I told him I was okay and about 2 minutes later Markita was at my door. I was on the phone with her when the floor and my face collided. I promised that I would end my fast. I just feel so horrible for scaring my son in such a way. He didn't wan to leave for his Sunday swiming excursion in fear that I might "die" here by myself.
Sleepover
Devyn attended his first sleepover. He has spent the night out but never technically went to a sleepover. I must say that Devyn is quite the socialite.
He was so excited and said to me several times"Mom I have never went to a sleepover". He didn't want to stop home to pick up his things he just wanted to go straight to the sleepover. I convinced him to eat dinner while I packed his bag. We arrived at my sister's and there was one unfamiliar adult and several other children he didn't know. He changed his mind and didn't even want to come in. I told him he could go back home but I would just visit for a little while . He stayed huddled by the door. My sister tried to find out what was wrong and he persisted he just waned to go home.
All of the guest ages 5 and under asked him "Why don't you wan to play with us?" He irritatedly said " Ok, Ok I'll stay, Mom
take my coat". In 5 minutes he was leading a dance line and helping make homemade pizza . The next afternoon he was not ready to come home. I promised he could host a sleepover the following weekend. He told me when he got home that he was so glad he went and he had so much fun at his first sleepover.
He was so excited and said to me several times"Mom I have never went to a sleepover". He didn't want to stop home to pick up his things he just wanted to go straight to the sleepover. I convinced him to eat dinner while I packed his bag. We arrived at my sister's and there was one unfamiliar adult and several other children he didn't know. He changed his mind and didn't even want to come in. I told him he could go back home but I would just visit for a little while . He stayed huddled by the door. My sister tried to find out what was wrong and he persisted he just waned to go home.
All of the guest ages 5 and under asked him "Why don't you wan to play with us?" He irritatedly said " Ok, Ok I'll stay, Mom
take my coat". In 5 minutes he was leading a dance line and helping make homemade pizza . The next afternoon he was not ready to come home. I promised he could host a sleepover the following weekend. He told me when he got home that he was so glad he went and he had so much fun at his first sleepover.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Break
The break is not arriving fast enough. I have such big plans.
None of them involve leaving the state of MI or traveling further than 5 miles from my home.
I plan to start my fast Sunday. I am so excited about simple things like washing walls, studying, working on my resume, volunteering at both of my children's schools and volunteering at my former elementary school. I also plan on optimizing my Y membership.
I would like to also get together with one of my friends who is in Engineering at LTU. She has a Co-Op that is a real job, so she only take one class. We never see each other.
I also plan on going to the movies ALL BY MYSELF. I have a gift card that i have not used. Wait. I not sure if I can go to the movie theatre without eating popcorn. I think I will wait until after the break for that one.
If you have any movies you think I might enjoy while sorting through clothes to donate and doing laundry please give me a list of suggestions.
Pick up and Drop off Patterns
Readers of this blog may or may not have experience with the above.
Pick up and drop off patterns are the way children are dropped off to school or picked up in the afternoon. I hate them.
My oldest son’s school has one and the cars pull up and kids are escorted in and out of the car by staff or parent volunteers.
I can’t stand the parents who pull up and park and get their kid out the car. The drop off is for just that.
They send tons of notes home explaining this maze however parents still disobey the rules.
I once drove over the yellow lines prior to having any knowledge they were off limits and my door was snatched open by the parent. I could not hear her because I was to busy trying to catch my laptop from falling out the door. Hey once I know the rules I follow them.
Parents also sit in their cars until the child has walked in the building. Just escort them in please.
Where did these things come from?
I think they cause more headache then help sometimes. What happened to the old way?
New does not always mean better. Did you survive elementary school without them? I am open for comments on this one for research purposes.
Pick up and drop off patterns are the way children are dropped off to school or picked up in the afternoon. I hate them.
My oldest son’s school has one and the cars pull up and kids are escorted in and out of the car by staff or parent volunteers.
I can’t stand the parents who pull up and park and get their kid out the car. The drop off is for just that.
They send tons of notes home explaining this maze however parents still disobey the rules.
I once drove over the yellow lines prior to having any knowledge they were off limits and my door was snatched open by the parent. I could not hear her because I was to busy trying to catch my laptop from falling out the door. Hey once I know the rules I follow them.
Parents also sit in their cars until the child has walked in the building. Just escort them in please.
Where did these things come from?
I think they cause more headache then help sometimes. What happened to the old way?
New does not always mean better. Did you survive elementary school without them? I am open for comments on this one for research purposes.
I am past tired of reading to much information on a Facebook profile page.
You are free to write what you want in notes etc. but when I first enter your page please spare me.
I admit sometimes I have lengthy status messages.
They might say something like “KT is starving can someone fix me breakfast.”
My sister and I laugh about Status messages daily.
I can't stand names either, one’s that say things like Samantha “in love with a married man who hates his wife but is their for the kids” Jones or Miss “Biggest Baddest Sweetest Chick” Smith.
The one that brought on a bronchial spasm was a status message that read
“ I was pregnant and I just got back from having an abortion he is right with me by my side”.
What do you think?
You are free to write what you want in notes etc. but when I first enter your page please spare me.
I admit sometimes I have lengthy status messages.
They might say something like “KT is starving can someone fix me breakfast.”
My sister and I laugh about Status messages daily.
I can't stand names either, one’s that say things like Samantha “in love with a married man who hates his wife but is their for the kids” Jones or Miss “Biggest Baddest Sweetest Chick” Smith.
The one that brought on a bronchial spasm was a status message that read
“ I was pregnant and I just got back from having an abortion he is right with me by my side”.
What do you think?
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Octomom
OctoMom
ABSURD!!! I feel that this lady is getting the publicity and attention she craves. I am outraged by her sob story. She decided to produce”8” more children she cannot support. She has the audacity to “beg” America for help. I have such strong sentiments because at her age she should be responsible for her actions.
I'm a S-I-N-G-L-E mom not by choice. When I decided have children it was based on a two-parent household. I have tons of ups and downs but you will not find me singing a sad song or even worse “begging” for help. My story is probably more heart wrenching. As a parent it is her responsibility to provide the healthiest and happiest environment possible. I understand as sole supporter mentally, financially, emotionally etc that it takes a lot. I am not in a position to take care of one more or eight more children.
OCTO needs to think of her children and not just herself.
Parenting is not just a financial commitment .
ABSURD!!! I feel that this lady is getting the publicity and attention she craves. I am outraged by her sob story. She decided to produce”8” more children she cannot support. She has the audacity to “beg” America for help. I have such strong sentiments because at her age she should be responsible for her actions.
I'm a S-I-N-G-L-E mom not by choice. When I decided have children it was based on a two-parent household. I have tons of ups and downs but you will not find me singing a sad song or even worse “begging” for help. My story is probably more heart wrenching. As a parent it is her responsibility to provide the healthiest and happiest environment possible. I understand as sole supporter mentally, financially, emotionally etc that it takes a lot. I am not in a position to take care of one more or eight more children.
OCTO needs to think of her children and not just herself.
Parenting is not just a financial commitment .
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
I am sitting in the library waiting for Kaleb. It is my scheduled blogging time. I can't think of anything to blog about. My phone is dead. I thought I would charge my phone while waiting. I have looked everywhere and can not find that darn charger. I just realized I carried an extra bag to work and that is where I threw it. Did I remember to bring the bag home??? If you guys don't see me it is because my lack of cell phone to call for help. I am trapped at the Downtown Farmington Library or I somehow became trapped at the Barber SHop my immediate destination if I make it up the stairs......
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I'm on my way
THe title is for Janelle. I am on my way to recovery. My weight gain depresses me. I am so disappointed in myself for letting my hard work go down the drain. I have gained a portion of the weight I loss since the Fall. I refuse to be a cry baby about it but hitting the gym was impossible without child care. However, I have a FAMILY Y membership starting today. Working out was so much of a part of my survival. It was my chocolate after a stressful day. Lately, chocolate is my chocolate after a stressful day. I can decompress again, and have more energy and look how I want to. Many may promote working out at home. This is okay sometimes but I really need the change of scenery. I also looked at a professional quality elliptical USED and for months the prices are stuck at UNAFFORDABLE. Check me out in May.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Monkey Biz
Okay... I really don't know how to begin. Yesterday was just crazy from the top to the bottom. I ended my evening listening to horrible news stories involving animals. The second was about a dog injured by a dog toy. This story brought me to tears. The first was about Travis the Chimp. My heart goes out to the family of the victim of his rage. The story is very suspect. I just can't comprehend how the story unfolded. The reporters began by saying how Travis drank from the finest wine glasses and feasted on Filet Mignon. Do chimps normally eat meat? Did these things make him now more human and less animal? This story is tragic but I must admit that I found humor in parts of the story none that involved the woman who was injured. What was his motivation? The owner talked about how they even slept together sometimes. This is surely something to make you say hmm.....Was he acting out of jealously?
I have not finished researching the story. My lack of research is the result of my lack of Internet. She lost both her daughter and husband tragically and Travis was all the family she had. The tape of her 911 call was insane. The dispatcher was trained to be calm I would have went crazy myself. The guy pissed me off. He had the nerve to ask her to calm down just a little. How can one be calm in the midst of such insanity? Calm! Calm I know he probably could not believe what he was hearing. In my limited research I found an AP article that confirmed this was not his first incident of violence. HE bit a woman in 1996 and tried to pull her into a vehicle. His owner hit him with a shovel and stabbed hi trying to save her "friend". The hospital is not releasing information when she calls to check on her friend?? I cannot imagine the conflicted emotions Travis "owner" is feeling. She was upset because she couldn't be with Travis as he died. She said "he went to his room and died alone, they wouldn't even let me be with him". Several years ago I owned pets. I had normal pets an Alaskan malamute and a Siberian Husky both dogs. I miss them but think if they savagely attacked even my friend from Advanced Writing for Television I would not have the same feelings for them. Travis's owner was also upset that she could not obtain his remains so she could cremate him and bury him on her property. Was this a love triangle gone wrong???? Was it the Xanex? The owner's initial reports stated that she gave Travis his afternoon tea with Xanex five minutes before the uprising. Caffeine and Xanex? Did he actually get his Xanex? Was he upset because he didn't have his needed medication? Was he upset because he saw her trying to give him the medication and he didn't like the effects of it? We will never know. I do know that animals such as Chimpanzee should not be kept as pets. I feel so bad going to the zoo seeing them caged for our delights sometimes. I know I wouldn't want to be caged. Well, I wouldn't want to be on display. I mean if you’re for BDSM (I think that is the right word order) go for it. Okay I went off on a tangent for a second. I encourage you to read the story if you haven't all ready. I welcome your thoughts on exotic pets? Xanex and caffeine? or whatever. Wait I forgot something. When I read the police account of arriving on the sentence I sobered up and found less humor in the story. My prayers go out to the victim and her family. I pray that she recovers rapidly and is able to put this
All My Babies
I viewed the documentary “All My Babies” a Midwife’s own story. It was directed, produced and written by George C. Stoney.
It is the story of a midwife named, Mary Coley. She delivered over 1400 babies in a rural area in Georgia. We follow her and her advice for pregnant women. She takes on the preparation for a home birth and the actual delivery. Viewers also witness the pregnancy of a woman who had previous problematic births. She never received prenatal care. The midwife was very dedicated to her job and her patients.
I love the central character Miss Mary. She is an older southern woman. The documentary took me through childbirth as a viewer not the star of the show. I was actually present for my nephew’s birth but it was very hectic. The music playing in the documentary was very soothing. It was better than any cable birthing show.
This is a narrative it follows the life of Miss Mary and midwifery. It follows specific events. It is narrated by Miss Mary .
It is the story of a midwife named, Mary Coley. She delivered over 1400 babies in a rural area in Georgia. We follow her and her advice for pregnant women. She takes on the preparation for a home birth and the actual delivery. Viewers also witness the pregnancy of a woman who had previous problematic births. She never received prenatal care. The midwife was very dedicated to her job and her patients.
I love the central character Miss Mary. She is an older southern woman. The documentary took me through childbirth as a viewer not the star of the show. I was actually present for my nephew’s birth but it was very hectic. The music playing in the documentary was very soothing. It was better than any cable birthing show.
This is a narrative it follows the life of Miss Mary and midwifery. It follows specific events. It is narrated by Miss Mary .
My afternoon 2/18/09
My plan for the day was to blog while waiting for Kaleb. Devyn fell asleep on the way to the library. I opted to stay in the car and use the library’s wireless network. I started reading blogs and even commented on one. I was about to comment on Janelle’s when a parking spot closer to the library opened up. Kaleb was inside practicing for the play Three Nanny Goats Gruff. I sat my laptop on the passenger seat and attempted to start the vehicle. Oops.. I left the lights on. The car refused to start. It was almost time for rehearsal to end. I called to arrange a jump ns prayed I could get one and still make it to Kaleb’s 5:30 appointment. Why does my phone die when I need it most? Everyone encourages me to purchase a car charger. Is anyone buying? Devyn and I went in to get Kaleb. The library staff helped out as much as possible. Rose, an adorable 7 year old who attends Gill who wears flowers in her hair suggested we wait for her dad. She said, “He always has jumper cables”. I lucked out and her Dad was parked right next to me. Rose began to tell me about the time her o and dad were fighting and he had t boost her car and I tried to switch the subject. Kids say the dandiest things. I am a parent of one of those kids. LOL. I didn’t not want her dad to hear her giving me the details of his personal life. I was saved from Rosie’s story when her dad told me to try to crank it. Vroom. Vroom it started and we made it to the appointment about 5 minutes late. I was glad I called ahead to let them know what was going on.
DON’T LEAVE THE LIGHT ON !!!
DON’T LEAVE THE LIGHT ON !!!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Cousin Robbie
I am ashamed of myself. Today my mom called to tell me my cousin Robbie was out of his coma. Wow, I didn’t know Robbie was in a coma. When was the last time I talked to him? It has been way to long. Why didn’t I know he was in a coma? How do we lose track of time and space. The last time I talked to him was several years ago. HE always held a special place in my heart. His father tried everything to make him straight from prayer to mental institutions. This was a horrible journey for Robbie. During the beginning I was able to be a support for Robbie. He was so tormented on the inside. He ran away from Detroit, his father and judgment. He found himself in harm’s way trying to fit in. HE was ridiculed and physically beaten near death due to his preference. I tried t embrace him but I too was young and my mind was not as clear. My ex said things like “that faggott will not be near Kaleb & Devyn”. I wanted to do more for him but I didn’t fight that fight I called Robbie at the hospital. He was sleep. I don’t know what to tell him. The only thing I know is I LOVE him and I am ready to stand by his side. Don’t let their feelings become your problem.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Miracles
The lat 8 days have been insane. I have no time for a play by play. I missed out on a week of my life. This month begins and ends in birthdays for my close friends and family. Every year I marvel at the years since my oldest niece Erica was born. She was born February 5, 1995 her brother Eric born a year later February 7, 1996 and my twin nieces share Erica's birthday. My cousins are the 3,4 and 6th. My youngest turned 5 on the 8th of February. Let's get back to Erica because the birthdays don't ever stop. Lil Miss Erica Calhoun scarcely weighed at at an even 1 1b. She was months premature. She was born with her internal organs on the outside of her body. The doctor's had to perform a surgery that left a horrible scar across her belly. The summer of 2007 we went swimming and I marveled at how the scar disappears more and more each year. One day there will not be a trace outside of our recollection. The doctor's told my sister and her husband that there was no hope for Erica. My sister was feuding with my parents as usual but she called my dad. He gave her words of encouragement and told her that the doctor's did not hold the key to life and began praying and he made his way to the hospital. (My sister didn't share with anyone that she was pregnant especially since she was feuding with the parents.) My sister is mean and the stubbornest person sometimes. ( She is a Taurus) The funny thing is she love kids and they love her. We had issues when were kids but we are cool now. When she gets on my nerves I understand that it is just her personality and I take a break from her. You get it. I believe in Miracles. Many days you won't find me on my soapbox professing them to the world. If you ask I will tell you I have been fortunate to witness a few Miracles in my lifetime. Erica is one today at 14 she is lively and lovely. She loves animals and volunteers at the dog shelter. She is often teased by her younger siblings because she is not confrontational. I love my little Miracle (who is almost taller than me) .
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Kamille
Kamille refuses to sleep. She is not crying but yelling and trying to communicate with us but we are clueless of the message. She is a party animal. I really wanted to interview her but somehow we can not communicate effectively. Kamille got her immunizations yesterday and she weighs 15 pounds. It was a piece of cake for her. She is almost 5 months old. I can't wait to the summer so she can experience her first breeze of fresh warm air. I love all the nieces and nephews. Erica and Eric turn 13 and 14 Feb 5th and Feb 7th but Millie is the newest addition and demands ALL the attention.
I am exhausted and glad I do not have an infant but I will consider taking over parenting Kamille once she sleeps nights and is potty trained. ( I always wanted a daughter).
We are now playing with a musical toy. She is pretty occupied. She was sleep for a while but she took a power nap and is ready to get down to business. I am going to sleep hopefully mom can imagine without me. Goodnite Millie Moo...
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Webster's word of the day
I can't remember if I began talking about my son's dictionary obsession and I am to lazy to check.
Kaleb my 4th grader is now obsessed with the dictionary which is a good obsession. Call me lazy but I got tired of two things
1) reading his stories with misspelled words ( I have to add that he never gets more than one wrong on the spelling test since 1st grade)
2) being approached by a mad man asking me to spell something real quick (even banging on the door while I was sitting on the commode)
Friday after school he said there were several words that he found in the dictionary that were gross.
He briefly gave me a preview on last Thursday of the "gross" words.
He started off with the word "sexual intercourse"- briefly it said "when a man inserts his penis into a woman's vagina for procreation"
Well, I had to begin with the words that he didn't know in that definition such as vagina and procreation.
I assumed the kid knew what a vagina was but I I guess he had no need to know because he doesn't have one. My sister, Markita, my friend a.k.a (Kita & George's mom) and I all admitted we owned one of those. Which he thought we were disgusting. I try to keep it light. I mean I was not ready for this conversation but my parents were like "you know what to do and you know what not to do".
Luckily, Markita's parents gave her some books and we spent our middle school years looking up the words and familiarizing ourselves with the STD's we never wanted to get. You can catch me on any given day telling her to make sure she stays away from gonococci, we taught ourselves.
I hope the guy continues to come to me.
Back to the lesson..
Procreation I sent him to look the word up. He finished looking that up and then we began to converse. His friend told him he wouldn't be here if it wasn't for sexual intercourse. I confirmed this to be a true statement. He then hid under my bed and stated he was as grossed out. I explained that he didn't have to think about such words and who would want to imagine such things in 4th grade. I took this time to explain how no one should approach him and he shouldn't approach anyone else because this is some serious adult stuff. He then asked about puberty. He went back to our buddy the dictionary and they defined it as "sexual maturity" , The word sex then grossed him out again and I had to explain that it was not referring to the act. I also explained that a dictionary definition can somehow be a little different than how real life or myself would explain it. He then asked about the word gay, which the dictionary led to the word homosexual. I called in my life lines at this time. He was shocked that he knew someone who is "gay". I asked him if this made the person less than the caring, creative, fun person before he knew she was gay an he said NO but he was still knocked off guard. I explained how a lot of society is opposed to "gay" relationships and how the bible speaks against it as well. I explained it is not our job to judge people by "labels" but their character and service.
I was ready for my relief at this point an I realized I had no relief. He asked about the word rape, we utilized the dictionary definition and then I explained the whole NO means NO.
I am asking that parents with fast tailed children slow them down because they are moving to fast for me. Thank GOD Kaleb felt this was to much and is now scared to look in the dictionary.
I explained how he shouldn't be scared of "words" because that is all they are. I explained how ignorance is what you should fear the whole knowledge is power speech.
I was excited that my son trusts me and considering me a good source of information. I thanked him for this and told hope I will continue to be honest an explain things in the best way I know how. I suggested a book about adolescence an asked me to refrain so that will come later.
I did welcome a call from his godfather who said he would offer some relief for the next wave of questions.
Kaleb my 4th grader is now obsessed with the dictionary which is a good obsession. Call me lazy but I got tired of two things
1) reading his stories with misspelled words ( I have to add that he never gets more than one wrong on the spelling test since 1st grade)
2) being approached by a mad man asking me to spell something real quick (even banging on the door while I was sitting on the commode)
Friday after school he said there were several words that he found in the dictionary that were gross.
He briefly gave me a preview on last Thursday of the "gross" words.
He started off with the word "sexual intercourse"- briefly it said "when a man inserts his penis into a woman's vagina for procreation"
Well, I had to begin with the words that he didn't know in that definition such as vagina and procreation.
I assumed the kid knew what a vagina was but I I guess he had no need to know because he doesn't have one. My sister, Markita, my friend a.k.a (Kita & George's mom) and I all admitted we owned one of those. Which he thought we were disgusting. I try to keep it light. I mean I was not ready for this conversation but my parents were like "you know what to do and you know what not to do".
Luckily, Markita's parents gave her some books and we spent our middle school years looking up the words and familiarizing ourselves with the STD's we never wanted to get. You can catch me on any given day telling her to make sure she stays away from gonococci, we taught ourselves.
I hope the guy continues to come to me.
Back to the lesson..
Procreation I sent him to look the word up. He finished looking that up and then we began to converse. His friend told him he wouldn't be here if it wasn't for sexual intercourse. I confirmed this to be a true statement. He then hid under my bed and stated he was as grossed out. I explained that he didn't have to think about such words and who would want to imagine such things in 4th grade. I took this time to explain how no one should approach him and he shouldn't approach anyone else because this is some serious adult stuff. He then asked about puberty. He went back to our buddy the dictionary and they defined it as "sexual maturity" , The word sex then grossed him out again and I had to explain that it was not referring to the act. I also explained that a dictionary definition can somehow be a little different than how real life or myself would explain it. He then asked about the word gay, which the dictionary led to the word homosexual. I called in my life lines at this time. He was shocked that he knew someone who is "gay". I asked him if this made the person less than the caring, creative, fun person before he knew she was gay an he said NO but he was still knocked off guard. I explained how a lot of society is opposed to "gay" relationships and how the bible speaks against it as well. I explained it is not our job to judge people by "labels" but their character and service.
I was ready for my relief at this point an I realized I had no relief. He asked about the word rape, we utilized the dictionary definition and then I explained the whole NO means NO.
I am asking that parents with fast tailed children slow them down because they are moving to fast for me. Thank GOD Kaleb felt this was to much and is now scared to look in the dictionary.
I explained how he shouldn't be scared of "words" because that is all they are. I explained how ignorance is what you should fear the whole knowledge is power speech.
I was excited that my son trusts me and considering me a good source of information. I thanked him for this and told hope I will continue to be honest an explain things in the best way I know how. I suggested a book about adolescence an asked me to refrain so that will come later.
I did welcome a call from his godfather who said he would offer some relief for the next wave of questions.
My feet are cold
My feet are cold. I did not put on boots after working out. I am hoping to push out the reaminder of my blogs while i wait in the car for Kaleb (my 9 year old). He is in the library practicing for the community library's picnic play. Devyn (my 4 year old) is sleeping peacefully and I refuse to wake him. I don't think he get enough sleep since he refuses to sleep at nap time at school. I guess he feels someone has to keep an eye on the adults. I agree. :) Monday I got a note home from my son's lead teacher informing parents of her departure. The not explained how the economy is forcing her family to relocate to where her husband will begin a new job and I understand her decision. Unfortunately, she is the 2nd teacher this 2008-2009 school year. This sucks!!!! I know they say kids are resilient but I am not. I loved teacher #1, Mrs. Jones, she was enthusiastic, bubbly an warm. The new teacher (who will be leaving soon) appears caring and nice but I didn't know her long enough to make an honest assessment. I love Mrs. Kennedy who has been there since day one. Can she become the lead teacher? We need some stability.
Sincerely,
The grown up who will adapt if necessary but sometimes doesn't like change
Sincerely,
The grown up who will adapt if necessary but sometimes doesn't like change
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Love ----turns to hate
I began writing about love and deleted it all by mistake. I hate when that happens. There was so much to say, now I am a little pissed. (BE careful that was a little to much adult content). Hopefully, I will get excited about blogging again. Please tune in at a later time and date.
I will get back to doing Logic homework and refrain from saying words like pissed.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Are you Listening?
My ears are bleeding the invisible blood again.
My neck is stiff holding a brain full of thoughts.
Are you listening?
I wanted t o ask my mother the previous question. I did not.
I have found myself wanting to shout that question for years.
Today, I hung up the phone wishing I had the strength to call right back. I didn’t.
I can’t explain how this gives me such fury, her not listening.
I love listening. I am intrigued by the little facts. The things that are thrown in on the pretense that you might hear but the speaker didn’t really want you to hear it or the speaker finally has the courage to say it but says it in such a way only those really in tune will really hear it.
The salesmen hate it. I know the guy at mattress world muttered one of those things last night and it made me change my mind on the $800.00 mattress, that kind of thing
I am not just listening well but hearing well.
I have these supersonic ears that children hate
I have these supersonic ears that I hate. I hate hearing people beside me whispering and laughing small jokes that they feel they would NEVER say to your face because they are my “friends” but they feast on their “inside” joke as they are comforted in their whispers. I HEAR YOU!
I hear her sighs, her cries and I am listening to the worry and fear disguised in her voice.
Why can’t she hear me?
Why isn’t she listening to me?
She calls me everyday now.
Well, she always called daily until we had the incident on her lawn.
You know the one she called me a spoiled bitch,
I hardly ever think about that but it was yet a confirmation that she was not hearing, listening, or seeing the struggles of my life.
A little thing can spark thee questions.
I go months without giving them much thought these days.
I talk to her less.
I can’t stand the peacemaker in me. The side of me who will not say it because I don’t want to start an argument
I don’t want to upset anybody.
We can’t communicate.
You have to listen to communicate.
I am answering my question.
It was such a minor thing that sparked it today,
“It” is my aggravation with her.
I know if she read this she would think I have some type of disdain for her.
I don’t.
I love the strength in her that she cannot see in me,
I hate not being heard.
I have to practice this precise writing S, Gargiola is teaching in his book,
Maybe my conversation lacks precision and she cannot hear me.
A little thing ticked it off today,
She asked “When will u arrive’?
I explained how I just rolled out of bed,
We began small talk,
I hate that too,
We never talk of anything with substance,
When I try she tunes me out.
I began asking her advice about mattresses,
She then said “Okay I will see you when you arrive”.
I stood firm and said,
“Did you ever answer the question about the mattress?” You know that is what I was talking about.
She talks,
I talk, she says goodbye.
Does a conversation have to volley back and forth?
I hang up.
I am OVERWHELMED with memories.
Should I see a shrink?
NO, I think writing this on paper is enough therapy for me.
I remember the first time she heard my voice on tape.
I was excited about a career in radio. I practiced back then.
I loved penning and voicing commercials and promos,
She listened to me for the first time in my adult life.
She questioned over and over again the authenticity of my voice,
She couldn’t believe it was I,
When she finally accepted the voice as me,
She said “ you sound good you don’t even sound like yourself”,
I was proud.
Fast forward….. Today I am on my couch with hunger pains to lazy to fix breakfast.
I now know,
I will broadcast my life,
I will put forth my best performance and she will listen.
My neck is stiff holding a brain full of thoughts.
Are you listening?
I wanted t o ask my mother the previous question. I did not.
I have found myself wanting to shout that question for years.
Today, I hung up the phone wishing I had the strength to call right back. I didn’t.
I can’t explain how this gives me such fury, her not listening.
I love listening. I am intrigued by the little facts. The things that are thrown in on the pretense that you might hear but the speaker didn’t really want you to hear it or the speaker finally has the courage to say it but says it in such a way only those really in tune will really hear it.
The salesmen hate it. I know the guy at mattress world muttered one of those things last night and it made me change my mind on the $800.00 mattress, that kind of thing
I am not just listening well but hearing well.
I have these supersonic ears that children hate
I have these supersonic ears that I hate. I hate hearing people beside me whispering and laughing small jokes that they feel they would NEVER say to your face because they are my “friends” but they feast on their “inside” joke as they are comforted in their whispers. I HEAR YOU!
I hear her sighs, her cries and I am listening to the worry and fear disguised in her voice.
Why can’t she hear me?
Why isn’t she listening to me?
She calls me everyday now.
Well, she always called daily until we had the incident on her lawn.
You know the one she called me a spoiled bitch,
I hardly ever think about that but it was yet a confirmation that she was not hearing, listening, or seeing the struggles of my life.
A little thing can spark thee questions.
I go months without giving them much thought these days.
I talk to her less.
I can’t stand the peacemaker in me. The side of me who will not say it because I don’t want to start an argument
I don’t want to upset anybody.
We can’t communicate.
You have to listen to communicate.
I am answering my question.
It was such a minor thing that sparked it today,
“It” is my aggravation with her.
I know if she read this she would think I have some type of disdain for her.
I don’t.
I love the strength in her that she cannot see in me,
I hate not being heard.
I have to practice this precise writing S, Gargiola is teaching in his book,
Maybe my conversation lacks precision and she cannot hear me.
A little thing ticked it off today,
She asked “When will u arrive’?
I explained how I just rolled out of bed,
We began small talk,
I hate that too,
We never talk of anything with substance,
When I try she tunes me out.
I began asking her advice about mattresses,
She then said “Okay I will see you when you arrive”.
I stood firm and said,
“Did you ever answer the question about the mattress?” You know that is what I was talking about.
She talks,
I talk, she says goodbye.
Does a conversation have to volley back and forth?
I hang up.
I am OVERWHELMED with memories.
Should I see a shrink?
NO, I think writing this on paper is enough therapy for me.
I remember the first time she heard my voice on tape.
I was excited about a career in radio. I practiced back then.
I loved penning and voicing commercials and promos,
She listened to me for the first time in my adult life.
She questioned over and over again the authenticity of my voice,
She couldn’t believe it was I,
When she finally accepted the voice as me,
She said “ you sound good you don’t even sound like yourself”,
I was proud.
Fast forward….. Today I am on my couch with hunger pains to lazy to fix breakfast.
I now know,
I will broadcast my life,
I will put forth my best performance and she will listen.
Color me Bad
Yesterday, my youngest son wanted to know why President Obama was dancing. I had to explain that he was at a party and would be working the next day. My oldest, Kaleb , wondered how a 4 year old knew anything about the President. I explained that he learned about the President at school and they even celebrated the inauguration at latchkey.
The real topic of this blog.
The children in latchkey ate popcorn and colored in a picture of the President.
Children are awesome because they are without prejudice at such a tender age.
I was amused as the discussion mounted on who had the best picture.
Rhiska said that you can imagine anything you want and her picture displayed a green face, red teeth, a purple suit, red hands and a ring. The boys were upset about the ring, the said "Boys don't wear rings". I explained that maybe it was because he is married. Kenenedy then decided she would too add a ring to Mr. Obama's purple hands. Devyn went with a multicolor approach. Devyn colored a green ad orange face and every color in the rainbow suit. Tyrone was upset because everyone did their picture wrong. Tyrone's President was dark brown with a charcoal grey suit.
Finally, Devyn decided that he would make the white house blue.
The real topic of this blog.
The children in latchkey ate popcorn and colored in a picture of the President.
Children are awesome because they are without prejudice at such a tender age.
I was amused as the discussion mounted on who had the best picture.
Rhiska said that you can imagine anything you want and her picture displayed a green face, red teeth, a purple suit, red hands and a ring. The boys were upset about the ring, the said "Boys don't wear rings". I explained that maybe it was because he is married. Kenenedy then decided she would too add a ring to Mr. Obama's purple hands. Devyn went with a multicolor approach. Devyn colored a green ad orange face and every color in the rainbow suit. Tyrone was upset because everyone did their picture wrong. Tyrone's President was dark brown with a charcoal grey suit.
Finally, Devyn decided that he would make the white house blue.
Twinz
I always wanted twins for some strange reason. Today my twins from another mother turned 7 today. Kita and George are so different. They are very in.dependent. Kita is a feisty princess, she is very creative and loves art. She can be bossy at times (what princess isn't) George on the hand is usually always calm and NEVER feisty. The twins take their school work very serious. I mean Kita spends evening demanding I make up additional homework for her. They are a like in this regards. Unfortunately, it is hard to get any type of agreement on things that would make life easier. Kita requests vanilla if George says chocolate. This birthday I outsmarted them. I asked them separately what kind of cake they wanted and the answer was chocolate with white icing. If I asked them in the same room the answer would have changed. It is funny how hard it is for them to come to an agreement. Well. I don't think it is hard at all I would want to do my own thing after sharing a womb for 9month, it probably seemed like a lifetime.
They are great, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEORGE and KITA and KITA an GEORGE.
They are great, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEORGE and KITA and KITA an GEORGE.
Are you Listening?
My ears are bleeding the invisible blood again.
My neck is stiff holding a brain full of thoughts.
Are you listening?
I wanted t o ask my mother the previous question. I did not.
I have found myself wanting to shout that question for years.
Today, I hung up the phone wishing I had the strength to call right back. I didn’t.
I can’t explain how this gives me such fury, her not listening.
I love listening. I am intrigued by the little facts. The things that are thrown in on the pretense that you might hear but the speaker didn’t really want you to hear it or the speaker finally has the courage to say it but says it in such a way only those really in tune will really hear it.
The salesmen hate it. I know the guy at mattress world muttered one of those things last night and it made me change my mind on the $800.00 mattress, that kind of thing
I am not just listening well but hearing well.
I have these supersonic ears that children hate
I have these supersonic ears that I hate. I hate hearing people beside me whispering and laughing small jokes that they feel they would NEVER say to your face because they are my “friends” but they feast on their “inside” joke as they are comforted in their whispers. I HEAR YOU!
I hear her sighs, her cries and I am listening to the worry and fear disguised in her voice.
Why can’t she hear me?
Why isn’t she listening to me?
She calls me everyday now.
Well, she always called daily until we had the incident on her lawn.
You know the one she called me a spoiled bitch,
I hardly ever think about that but it was yet a confirmation that she was not hearing, listening, or seeing the struggles of my life.
A little thing can spark thee questions.
I go months without giving them much thought these days.
I talk to her less.
I can’t stand the peacemaker in me. The side of me who will not say it because I don’t want to start an argument
I don’t want to upset anybody.
We can’t communicate.
You have to listen to communicate.
I am answering my question.
It was such a minor thing that sparked it today,
“It” is my aggravation with her.
I know if she read this she would think I have some type of disdain for her.
I don’t.
I love the strength in her that she cannot see in me,
I hate not being heard.
I have to practice this precise writing S, Gargiola is teaching in his book,
Maybe my conversation lacks precision and she cannot hear me.
A little thing ticked it off today,
She asked “When will u arrive’?
I explained how I just rolled out of bed,
We began small talk,
I hate that too,
We never talk of anything with substance,
When I try she tunes me out.
I began asking her advice about mattresses,
She then said “Okay I will see you when you arrive”.
I stood firm and said,
“Did you ever answer the question about the mattress?” You know that is what I was talking about.
She talks,
I talk, she says goodbye.
Does a conversation have to volley back and forth?
I hang up.
I am OVERWHELMED with memories.
Should I see a shrink?
NO, I think writing this on paper is enough therapy for me.
I remember the first time she heard my voice on tape.
I was excited about a career in radio. I practiced back then.
I loved penning and voicing commercials and promos,
She listened to me for the first time in my adult life.
She questioned over and over again the authenticity of my voice,
She couldn’t believe it was I,
When she finally accepted the voice as me,
She said “ you sound good you don’t even sound like yourself”,
I was proud.
Fast forward….. Today I am on my couch with hunger pains to lazy to fix breakfast.
I now know,
I will broadcast my life,
I will put forth my best performance and she will listen.
My neck is stiff holding a brain full of thoughts.
Are you listening?
I wanted t o ask my mother the previous question. I did not.
I have found myself wanting to shout that question for years.
Today, I hung up the phone wishing I had the strength to call right back. I didn’t.
I can’t explain how this gives me such fury, her not listening.
I love listening. I am intrigued by the little facts. The things that are thrown in on the pretense that you might hear but the speaker didn’t really want you to hear it or the speaker finally has the courage to say it but says it in such a way only those really in tune will really hear it.
The salesmen hate it. I know the guy at mattress world muttered one of those things last night and it made me change my mind on the $800.00 mattress, that kind of thing
I am not just listening well but hearing well.
I have these supersonic ears that children hate
I have these supersonic ears that I hate. I hate hearing people beside me whispering and laughing small jokes that they feel they would NEVER say to your face because they are my “friends” but they feast on their “inside” joke as they are comforted in their whispers. I HEAR YOU!
I hear her sighs, her cries and I am listening to the worry and fear disguised in her voice.
Why can’t she hear me?
Why isn’t she listening to me?
She calls me everyday now.
Well, she always called daily until we had the incident on her lawn.
You know the one she called me a spoiled bitch,
I hardly ever think about that but it was yet a confirmation that she was not hearing, listening, or seeing the struggles of my life.
A little thing can spark thee questions.
I go months without giving them much thought these days.
I talk to her less.
I can’t stand the peacemaker in me. The side of me who will not say it because I don’t want to start an argument
I don’t want to upset anybody.
We can’t communicate.
You have to listen to communicate.
I am answering my question.
It was such a minor thing that sparked it today,
“It” is my aggravation with her.
I know if she read this she would think I have some type of disdain for her.
I don’t.
I love the strength in her that she cannot see in me,
I hate not being heard.
I have to practice this precise writing S, Gargiola is teaching in his book,
Maybe my conversation lacks precision and she cannot hear me.
A little thing ticked it off today,
She asked “When will u arrive’?
I explained how I just rolled out of bed,
We began small talk,
I hate that too,
We never talk of anything with substance,
When I try she tunes me out.
I began asking her advice about mattresses,
She then said “Okay I will see you when you arrive”.
I stood firm and said,
“Did you ever answer the question about the mattress?” You know that is what I was talking about.
She talks,
I talk, she says goodbye.
Does a conversation have to volley back and forth?
I hang up.
I am OVERWHELMED with memories.
Should I see a shrink?
NO, I think writing this on paper is enough therapy for me.
I remember the first time she heard my voice on tape.
I was excited about a career in radio. I practiced back then.
I loved penning and voicing commercials and promos,
She listened to me for the first time in my adult life.
She questioned over and over again the authenticity of my voice,
She couldn’t believe it was I,
When she finally accepted the voice as me,
She said “ you sound good you don’t even sound like yourself”,
I was proud.
Fast forward….. Today I am on my couch with hunger pains to lazy to fix breakfast.
I now know,
I will broadcast my life,
I will put forth my best performance and she will listen.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Hmm..
Somehow we got off the subject in Logic. :) A gentleman somehow found his way to the New York Times, he said "If they stop home delivery like the Free Press, it would be like "them having a black president. You know like history." I agree that if the New York Times stopped "printing" it would be a shock. I was just wondering who "them" referenced. Is he Canadian? Hey who cares who voted for who but the truth of the matter is the President of our United States is Barack Obama therefore if your an American he is YOUR president too. Just wanted to say that out loud. I must now leave to begin the pick up circle and get the ingredients for the twins cake or cake still undecided.
These trying economic times
Well, a friend of mine lost his job a few months ago. He no longer is recieving unemployment. He is moving from his apartment to a southern state to his mom's. I have never seen a grown man so unhappy. He is like a brother to me, since high school. I could not find enough words to comfort him and ease his mind. My mission was to remind him that "Trouble Don't Last Always" (words from a songwriter) .
He liquidated his apartment giving his sister and I first dibs on a newly purchased computer desk. I was thankful but yet depressed. He kept saying, "One man's misfortune in another person's gain." We rode in the car and I preached as if I was ordained to do it from birth. I took him to the bright side and encouraged him to dwell on such things as: at least you have no responsibility besides yourself, you are ALIVE, you have someone with an open door. He began to explain to me he understood all these things but his pride as a male. I then reminded him of the trials and test that he has witnessed me endure. I explained how we "females" have pride too. I have two sons that are now my sole responsibility. I know a lot of people are facing hardships with car notes, house payments, medical bills. Keep the faith, in whatever you believe will see u through. I am a witness that "Trouble Don't Last Always". (Look it UP) The parenthesis are for people like Courtney who probably doesn't believe there is such a song because they only listen to BRUCE SPRINGER oops Springsteen.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
My heart is heavy.
My heart is heavy as I hear the news of the plane crash in the Hudson River.
I did not want my sons to hear the news because there fear of flying will continue mount.
There were no human fatalities or injuries. A Canadian reporter gave a vivid picture of the scene. I feel so ashamed for finding humor in the deaths of the two geese. I got a urgent phone call from a reliable source confirming my dreams that somehow I could get rid of the geese one by one. I have to find a less horrific way because I don't want any humans injured.
The geese have tormented me since my days at EMU. I found myself arriving late for class several times trying to avoid them when I could have cut across Bob's Lake House if the geese weren't claiming their set. Last year my son was subject to geese poop on the school playground and still suffer because I missed the phone call to bring him extra clothes. I can't afford to throw away goose poopey pants but it was inevitable. I hate geese and their poop.
I have changed parking spaces at LTU because geese have greeted me exiting my car.
Geese will not continue to rule today's crash is the beginning to the end.
My heart is heavy because I can not afford to fly to NY for the funeral of the two geese.
I did not want my sons to hear the news because there fear of flying will continue mount.
There were no human fatalities or injuries. A Canadian reporter gave a vivid picture of the scene. I feel so ashamed for finding humor in the deaths of the two geese. I got a urgent phone call from a reliable source confirming my dreams that somehow I could get rid of the geese one by one. I have to find a less horrific way because I don't want any humans injured.
The geese have tormented me since my days at EMU. I found myself arriving late for class several times trying to avoid them when I could have cut across Bob's Lake House if the geese weren't claiming their set. Last year my son was subject to geese poop on the school playground and still suffer because I missed the phone call to bring him extra clothes. I can't afford to throw away goose poopey pants but it was inevitable. I hate geese and their poop.
I have changed parking spaces at LTU because geese have greeted me exiting my car.
Geese will not continue to rule today's crash is the beginning to the end.
My heart is heavy because I can not afford to fly to NY for the funeral of the two geese.
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